Making Our Way
by mb5374
Summary: Bella Swan is leaving a loveless marriage and returning home to make a new life for herself, and her two daughters. She struggles to recapture her confidence and become the woman she once was.  This is my first fan fiction, so please be kind
1. Chapter 1

My mind is racing and I can't sleep. I know that change is inevitable, but right now I can't help but think about how I ended up on my Dad's lumpy sofa with my girls peacefully sleeping in my old bedroom. I don't know how to explain to them that I'm not sure when their Daddy will be coming around again or why he left. I don't know how to get through a day without crying while staying in my pajamas. Looking back I can see how I got here, and I am ready for change. I'm miserable, fat, depressed and about to go through the biggest change of my life so far. I will become independent of men and focus on reclaiming myself. I will do my best and make it work not just for myself, but for my girls.

My soon to be ex-husband, James Hunter, was my college sweetheart. We met the first day of my very first college class. He walked up to me as soon as class was over and told me he was taking me out for coffee. I was a fish out of water living in a big city all by myself, and I as easily impressed by his confidence. Needless to say I was easy prey. All too soon James was my whole world. Every evening, holiday and spare moment was spent with him. I didn't make many friends outside of the occasional study group, and I didn't really care. I was in love and I was happy.

Amazingly enough James and I both graduated from the University of Washington. I got my degree in English and passed my teacher's certification, and James received a pre-law degree and was continuing on to law school. We decided to move in together so I could work as a high school English teacher while he finished school. We had a plan and I was determined to see it through. Now I can see that my determination blinded me to reality. I was going to make our relationship work despite his long study hours and my stress. It was all only temporary after all. Soon enough we would get married and maybe start a family. This was simply a small stepping stone, not a stumbling block.

Somehow we managed our way through James' law school. We ran off to Vegas a week after he graduated and got married. His family was disappointed that we didn't include them, and my Dad was borderline hostile. Charlie had never warmed up to James, so when he wasn't included in his only child's wedding, well let's just say that recovery was not an option. Unfortunately, I was too blind to see that this was a very clear indication of our future together. There were always struggles, hurt feelings and misunderstandings, but we muddled our way through it. It was a vicious cycle of fighting and making up, but I wanted to make our marriage work.

James became an Associate at a law firm in Seattle. It was then that he stopped fighting with me and began to pull away from me. I chalked it up to the stress of a new job, but in hindsight I think our marriage was already at a point that he was itching to get out of it. During this time I became pregnant with our first daughter, Samantha Jane, and things were better for a while, but soon the stress of a new baby caused an even greater gap between us. I quit my job to stay at home with Sam. I was determined to try to make our life a happy one and soon Sam became my whole world.

Somehow between all the fighting and making up I got pregnant again with daughter number two, Georgia Mae, when Sam was only six months old. As happy as I was with my babies the stress became over whelming. I was extremely isolated with two babies and no free time. I put all of my effort into being the best mom I could be. It didn't bother me that James was working longer hours than normal, I had my girls and that was all that mattered. I quit trying to be a wife. My husband barely looked at me anymore, so why should I? When I look back at the demise of our marriage I see the damage that I caused. I simply didn't care about a husband that didn't have time for me. We both fell out of love with each other, but the final nail in the coffin came in the form of a legal assistant named Victoria.

Victoria was young, beautiful and exciting. I was a stay at home mom whose sole focus was my daughters. After back to back pregnancies I was over-weight and unhappy. My only joy in life was being a mother. I almost can't blame James for cheating on me. I just wished that he would have been man enough to tell the girls himself. It's one thing for him to leave me, but another thing for him to ditch his daughters. James was willing to follow Victoria anywhere, and that led him across the country to New York. I guess Victoria always believed she was destined for bigger and better things than what Washington could give her, and James being the loving and giving man he could be was willing to drop everything and take her to where her dreams could come to fruition. Victoria had no interest in being around children, so neither did James. Let's just forget the fact that the children where his.

Divorce papers were filed before our bed was cold. Our home on Bainbridge Island was put on the market. I gave James everything. I didn't want any reminders of a man that didn't want me or my girls. I packed our clothes and personal effects in my Volvo, and a trailer, and headed back to Forks to stay with my Dad.

So, here I am at 29 years old with two kids, and I am ready for my fresh start. I am ready to find myself again. This is my new beginning. I will make the best life for myself and my girls that I can. It was time to discover what Bella Swan is made of.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** **The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The original content and ideas of this story are mine.**

**Sorry for the huge delay in posting. I have been doing a little bit of traveling with my family. I am hoping now that we are home that I will get into a weekly posting schedule. Please remember this is my first shot at fanfiction, and I do not have a Beta. Truthfully, I don't even know how to go about getting one so this is all on me!**

I was hiding. I had been back in Forks for a little over a month, and I was still hiding. I hadn't seen any of my old childhood friends, I didn't run any errands for myself, choosing instead to send my Dad to the store with detailed lists and lame excuses as to why I couldn't go. I just couldn't make myself face anyone. I didn't want to see questioning glances, smug faces or hear remarks about how sad it was that I had let myself go and my husband had left me. I kept telling myself that I was just letting my girls get adjusted to a new house and environment, but that couldn't be further from the truth. My sweet Sammie and mischievous little Georgie settled in better and faster than I could have imagined, and I was shielding myself behind them. I was the one having adjustment problems.

I had developed a strange routine in my time at my Dad's. Every morning my Dad's heavy footsteps upstairs would alert me that he was up and getting ready for his day. I would listen for him to start down the stairs and I would pretend to be asleep. I didn't want him asking any questions about what I was doing that day or make subtle suggestions about leaving the house or seeing an old friend. This day was unlike no other. Footsteps and fake snoring filled the air, but something was different. Instead of my Dad walking into the kitchen he walked into the living room and stood directly behind the sofa I was pretending to sleep on.

With a slightly exasperated tone, my Dad said, "Bells, I'm not an idiot and you're not an actress. Quit pretending to sleep and drink a cup of coffee with me before I leave for work." Well, crap. Sighing dramatically I threw the covers off and headed into the kitchen wondering what my Dad had on his mind. I didn't have to wait long to find out.

"I think you need to quit hiding, get a job, put the girls in preschool and move out."

"Wow, Dad. Tell me how you really feel?" I retorted. "I didn't realize you were that anxious for us to get out. I mean, I know it's kind of cramped and all, but I thought you liked having all your girls under one roof."

"Don't get me wrong, I love having my girls here, but you won't ever feel better until you are standing on your own feet." He replied. "You aren't yourself, Bells. I want to see my Bella come back to life. I know these last few years have been hard on you, but you are more than a divorce and a cheating husband. You are a wonderful Mom, and you are capable of more than hiding in my house."

I sat in my Dad's little kitchen stunned with the speech that just came out of my Dad's mouth. Growing up my Dad never really had to lecture or scold me, and it caught me off guard to hear him doing it now. I could feel the burning in my eyes and my bottom lip started to hurt from biting down a little too hard. I knew my Dad was right, but I didn't know how to start living my life again.

"Now, don't get mad, but I have done a little digging for you." Charlie said looking a little sheepish. "Forks High has an open position in the English department, and I told old Ms. Cope that you would be making contact to get more information. There is a new preschool that opened about a year or so ago by your old friend Angela and I called to see if they had any openings for the girls."

"Wait just a minute!" I whisper shouted. "I have been a stay at home mom since Sammie was born, and I am not ready to leave my girls at some school so some strangers can take care of them."

"Well, I'm afraid you don't have that luxury anymore. I'm not trying to be mean Bella, but you are the one who didn't hold that bastard responsible for his children. You wanted a clean slate, and you got one. Now you have to do what every other single parent does, you make the best of a bad situation. You work to put food on the table and pay the bills, and then you spend every other moment making sure your kids are taken care of."

I felt the tears that had been burning my eyes spill over as I thought about what my Dad was saying. He knew first-hand what it was like to raise a child on his own. Its funny how as a child you don't every really understand the worries of your parents, but now as an adult I can appreciate the struggles that my Dad went through. The difficult decisions he had to make about my care because he couldn't take care of me all the time. I didn't know what to say, but thankfully my Dad beat me to it.

"I don't want to upset you, sweetie, but you have got to move on. I promise that once you start making a new life for yourself you will feel better about yourself. I didn't raise a sissy, and you need to prove to yourself and your girls just how strong you are. I'm proud of you, and I will always be here, but you need to learn to stand on your own."

"I know, Dad." I sniffled out. "It's just hard. This is a small town, and I feel like everyone will be talking about me. I just can't stand the thought of being fodder for gossip."

"Bells, there are gossips in every town. You just have to ignore them, and know that within a couple of weeks you will be old news and something else will be more interesting." My Dad said.

"Okay, I'll call Ms. Cope." I replied. "I'm also going to call Port Angeles to see if they are hiring. I will make a trip to the preschool and see if I can talk with Angela and possibly sit in on a class and see how the girls will interact."

With a gentle squeeze to my shoulder my Dad left for work without another word. He had said everything that needed to be said, and now I just had to take action. After all, he was completely right. I moved in with him and was determined to make a better life for my family, but instead I have been a coward. I have hidden from view too afraid of what people may think about me, but all of the Jessica Stanley's and Lauren Mallory's of Forks can think what they want. I'm not going to hide any more.

With my new found bravado I decided to get myself ready for the day before my girls were up. No more lounging in my pajamas until mid-day. It's time I start figuring out what has to be done, and learn to not be just a mommy, but a single parent taking charge of her life. My Dad is right, I am strong. I can totally handle this. Who cares if I'm divorced, overweight, and unemployed? I still have a college degree I worked hard for, and I still have happy, healthy, and well adjusted children. I'm coming out of hiding.

I made my way upstairs and got ready to face the day. As I was finishing applying my little bit of make-up I heard the patter of little feet running down the stairs. The two most important people in my life were looking for me, and I was not going to let them down. With determination I headed down the stairs only to see my girls trying to find me on the couch. I crept quietly behind them and decided to add a little fun to our day.

"Boo!" I yelled out and immediate shrieks and peals of laughter rang through the house as my girls made a run for it all the while looking back to make sure I was still chasing them. This was the best way for my day to start. I chased the girls into the kitchen and cornered them. After a brief fight with the tickle monster I got their breakfast ready, and began to tell them about how our brand new day was going to go.

**Author's Note: This chapter is a little bit of filler. I think that this story will go around 20 chapters of varying length. We will be getting to the good stuff in the next couple of chapters. I do have a loose plan for the story, but I am leaving room for the creative process. As always, reviews are appreciated! **


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